Come at me Bro

Yesterday I was told that I was too skinny. I know what you are probably thinking, “What an awesome problem to have. Cry me a river, Jenn!” or “OH snap, I can’t wait to read what her response was. Get the popcorn ready!”  Unfortunately, I didn’t have a witty comeback this time. I just stood there frozen, vulnerable, and hurt as every insecurity I have ever felt about my body came flooding back. That was quickly followed by the desperate need to sink into the shadows, and hide from the world. Because hearing “You’re too skinny” sounded EXACTLY the same to me as hearing “You’re too fat”. I mean, people have jokingly said I am too skinny before, but not like this. He meant it. He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt me. He just simply thinks that I “should eat a cheeseburger”. Which normally I would think was a great idea. But in this moment, it was the same feeling as when I was overweight and someone told me I “should eat a salad”. That exact same devastating pain.

Now before we all grab our pitchforks and hunt him down, let me just say that this guy is one of the nicest people that I have ever met. Maybe not the smartest, but if he knew that he hurt me he would be mortified. I know that he would apologize profusely, and then hide from me for….IDK three months? We could all take bets, but I digress. Anyway, I don’t feel the need to hurt him, or retaliate against him, or even hold negative thoughts for him. Other people’s words can only hold the value that I give them. I have learned that I have to look inside to stop the pain instead of harboring negative thoughts, or ACTUALLY running to a cheeseburger for comfort. Food won’t fix it. I also have the advantage of always having 2016 Jenn with me to keep me straight. That girl would have done ANYTHING to be where I am today, and I ask myself all the time, “What would 2016 Jenn say to me right now?” I’ll tell you what she would say about this, she would say…

“Seriously Jenn?!?!? You are crying because someone called you too skinny???? Are you freaking kidding me? You HAVE to be kidding. You have everything!! Look at that ass, Girl!! Get-It-Together because I kinda want to punch you in the face right now. I really do. You are NOT too skinny. ‘You can never be too skinny or too rich.’ Everybody knows that. You are PERFECT! Keep slaying life girl!”

So today I am going to choose to listen to the girl that started this whole thing instead of a guy with rudimentary social skills. Because if I see myself through her eyes, all I see is perfection and all I can feel is gratitude.

“There is only one way to learn. It’s through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

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43 Comments

  1. Serrena

    I guess it is ultimately who we see we are, and knowing who we are. Yes, we can be too skinny, but that is not really the true question you were looking to ask. The true question is do I feel good about me? Am I going to let the world tell me whether I feel good about me or am I going to stay on the mission I set out to accomplish in 2016? Congrats on meeting your goal and prayers for continued success in staying healthy.

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  2. Schroeder

    🤗 Came over from connect … Totally understand where you are coming from. I’ve battled with my weight since birth 😱 I’ve been ‘to fat’ and ‘to skinny’!
    I’ve done WW before and was successful sooo here I go again! Hope to rejoin the ‘to skinny’ but healthy club👍

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  3. Mary

    Good thoughts, solid message … just wanted to toss this in, though … I have a niece who is battling bulemia. You actually CAN be too skinny. It’s interesting to see that her battle is the same as mine; just manifested differently. I “hoard” and she “purges” but it’s all about trying to control emotions with food.
    Good for you, though! Making healthy choices and helping others … go you!!!

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  4. Tracy

    Another sneak over from Connect 😚. Most people don’t realize how much we struggle with weight and body image. I’m 44-45lb down (depends on the day with the stupid scale) and I have another 50lb I want to loose. I think you look amazing and handled that perfectly and with class.

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  5. Humme

    I have enjoyed reading your posts lately Jenn. I guess we all have our demons, but what I have seen of you lately is exactly the Jenn I remember growing up. I always thought you were such a strong personality and I was always drawn to that. As for the whole “skinny” or “fat” thing, I think with the exception of a few genetically gifted assholes, we have all faced this battle. Honestly, I always just simply viewed you as an athlete before anything else, which doesn’t really allow you to be too far on either side. Either way, keep it up, great job and look forward to your future posts.

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    1. Jennifer Kinere

      Chris!!!!! You made my day!! Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so glad you are enjoying my posts! I feel like in the days of social media we can all get lost in other people’s “filters”. On a totally separate note: Thank sweet baby Jesus we didn’t have FB in ’99 #amiright?!?!?! LOL

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  6. Mike Chapman

    I also hopped over from Connect. 1). Pay no attention to us men. Most of us put our mouths in gear before engaging our brains. You are stunning, and thanks for giving that poor, insensitive, half-witted friend some grace. 2). Thanks so much for sharing your story & accompanying visuals. You do have some idea of how incredibly encouraging it is to see this kind of success on this program. For those like me, who do 3 steps forward, 2steps back, it gives us hope that we WILL get there eventually, if we don’t give up. 3). You have a gift in your writing. THANK you for pursuing it. Please keep sharing it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Shannon

    Clicked on your link from Connect. Girl, you are awesome and you look great! I just started my journey a couple of weeks ago and you are an inspiration! I hope to reach a point where someone tells me I’m too skinny. I have no clue how I will feel about it then but right now I’d like to think I would be excited that they used the word skinny in a comment regarding me! 😂
    Keep doing you! ❤️❤️

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  8. Jenn K

    It’s amazing the power we give other people’s opinions. I’m glad you learned (are learning, as we are always striving for more) that your voice has more power. Keep up the great work.
    -a fellow WW member (clicked through from connect)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Jennifer

    Snuck over from CONNECT as well. You look great. I’ve been lifetime for 14 years and I still struggle with body image. I wear a 0/2 or XS/S but still always pick up a M or L. Crazy, by it’s just recently that I’ve started to be ok with picking up the smaller sizes first. It’s my mom who tells me I’m too skinny. When this drives me nuts, my husband reminds me that she in overweight and LEGALLY BLIND!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Jacqueline Remias

    Came over from Connect.
    I have returned to WW after 10 years. I gained 40 pds of “Happy Fat” when I moved to Texas after I married my 2nd husband after divorce. I met him at my 30th class reunion.
    I never had to diet much because I was fairly thin until starting high blood pressure meds and now three different type 2 meds. I joined WW three weeks ago and have not lost any weight but my blood sugar numbers are in normal range (which was my first goal) so hopefully now the weight will follow if I can get off of some meds.
    You look great and healthy.

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  11. alabasterjarbreaker

    “I have to look inside…”
    Yes. Yes! YES!!
    And you looked inside and acknowledged the old feelings (that is, the sense that there’s something wrong with you), yet you changed the response by not turning to food and not turning to anger or vindictiveness.

    You responded with insight, understanding and compassion—for him and yourself.

    Well done, ZennJenn! Love to read this and am standing with you! Keep looking to the Lord to know your worth and identity. He’s the only dude whose opinion matters!

    Maura_NotLaura

    Like

  12. Emily Hughes

    It hurt my feelings when my husband, instead of telling me I looked great / beautiful / hot, kept saying “skinny”. I asked (on Christmas eve no less) if that meant “good skinny or bad skinny” he said “well i just wouldn’t be losing anymore weight if i were you.” I was just 5# below the TOP of my weight range for my height, no way was I too thin. You and I have similar heights and weights and I think we’re alllllll good!! You look strong, capable, healthy. Don’t listen to the negative Nancies, they’re just not used to seeing you normal weight I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

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